Wriggling Day of Misfortune- Karkat x Reader

You hate the Vantas'. Your name is <y/n> <l/n> and you ABSOLUTELY DESPISE VANTAS'.

Their father, known as the Signless, irritates you to no end. His jokes suck, and he's just too bubbly for your taste, and it annoys you. Obviously, you haven't talked to him much, so you don't know much about him other than that. Oh, and he also tries to pair everyone up with his sons, whether they like it or not... Which neither do.

The elder Vantas, known as Kankri, is just... There are no words to describe him. He never shuts up, and his sweater is the most obnoxious colour ever. You could spot him from a mile away, and in fact, you have. When you say he never shuts up, he never, ever, ever shuts up. Despite this, he might be your favourite Vantas. Though you still hate him.

The youngest Vantas is known as Karkat. He the most detestable of the three, or at least you think so. He's always shouting, whether he's actually angry or not. He has a horrible mouth for swearing, and he makes you curse, too. You're not one who normally cusses. In fact, the only reason you tolerate Kankri is because he seems to lecture Karkat nonstop, and it causes the younger, angry Vantas to shut up. Plus, you like to see him in trouble, which he gets in a lot. His horns are also the nubbiest out of the three, and his hair is messy, and he always looks tired. Not to mention the very slight chub he has, but he looks a lot thicker when he stands next to Kankri, who's so skinny most assume he's anorexic. He started wearing the huge red sweater to hide his extremely skinny body.

Not to mention that at times, he's a complete sap. Karkat, that is. He's known for his passion for romantic comedies, and he watches them a lot with his matesprit, who is supposedly a human. You barely know anything on the topic of humans; you only know that they have pink skin, because it's pigmented by their candy red blood, and that their skin is also very weak and thin. They don't even have horns...! Or at least, so you've heard. Anyways.

Karkat, as well as a few other trolls, came out of a game recently. The rust blood known as Aradia and the teal blood known as Terezi both got trapped on Earth, while the human girl Rose got trapped on Alternia. Once again, so you've been told. You don't generally go human-hunting. By this point, Karkat's blood colour was completely known to be the same colour as a human's, so you assume that Rose went to live with him in his hive. If she got stuck on Alternia at all.

You decide to review exactly what you know about yourself. Your name is <Y/N> <L/N>, as previously mentioned. You are a cerulean blue blood, therefore, you have no trouble, ahem, putting someone out of their misery... Or gladness. Either one works; you honestly don't care. You're just slightly prejudice to those with blood colours bronze and lower, though you yourself don't understand why sometimes. Other times, it's because you want the same kind of psychic powers they're more likely to get... But there are two famous cerulean bloods who had amazing powers, Mesquite Spinneret Mindfang, and Vriska Serket. However, Mindfang is long gone, and Vriska was killed in the above mentioned game. A shame, really... Vriska was around the same age as you. Just a solar sweep younger than you. Your typing quirk is that you like to triple---punctuate things... You also enjoy-

This is stupid; you don't need to review yourself. You might start to have deep thoughts or something, which you don't have the time for because you're being pestered by your highblood friend, ectoBiologist. You don't know his actual name, because you've never bothered to ask, because you don't think it's all that important. In fact, it'll probably just confuse you.

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering chumHandle [CH] at 5:14 p.m. --
EB: hello!
CH: Hi!!!
CH: What's up???
EB: not much
EB: i just wanted to let you know it's karkat's birthday!
CH: Oh......... Is it???
EB: yeah
EB: he doesn't stop talking about you, so, you know, i thought you two must be friends!
CH: How far from the truth.........
CH: EB,,, the Vantas''' suck...
CH: To put it flatly...
EB: oh, really?
EB: is this that hate/love thingy you guys do?
CH: You mean kismesistude???
CH: How do you not know about kismesistude???
CH: You ***are*** Alternian,,, aren'''t you???
EB: no
EB: i'm human
CH: .........
CH: Well shit...
CH: All this time I thought you were Alternian,,, just like me or even Vantass...
CH: That wasn'''t a typo, by the way...
EB: huh
EB: i always knew you were a troll, but i guess i never bothered to specify i'm human
EB: well, now that we've got that all cleared up, are you going to do anything for karkat's birthday?
EB: i mean, wriggling day
CH: Depends.........
CH: What are ***you*** doing???
EB: i don't know for sure, but my friends dave and jade may have figured out how to do an alternia-earth switchy thingy... so maybe i can visit him on your planet?
CH: That'''s not a good idea...
CH: Has no one told you how violent us trolls are by nature???
CH: What if Her Imperious Condescension catches you here???
EB: i dunno
EB: karkat mainly just seemed like a dick before i got to know him
EB: you also kind of seemed like a dick before i got to know you
CH: .........I don'''t know what '''dick''' means.........
EB: it's... not really that important
EB: you both just kind of seemed like jerks before i actually got to know you
CH: EB,,, we'''re one of the most violent species alive,,, I promise...
EB: oh
EB: that sucks. i was really looking forward to seeing karkat again...
CH: Yeah,,, well,,, it'''s not out of the question for him to go to Earth...
CH: He might actually fit in there;;; paint his skin pink and hide his nubs in his hair,,, and teach him human insults??? Yeah,,, he'''d fit in perfectly...
EB: i guess you're right
EB: is it really that bad?
CH: Yep...
EB: oh... well, i guess we'll have to do that, then.
EB: i have to go now. i think the machine is almost ready!
CH: Goodbye,,, EB...
-- ectoBiologist ceased pestering chumHandle at 5:32 --

So you discovered two things: One, your 'highblood' friend is actually a human, and it's Karkat's wriggling day... You don't know how you're going to use this information, just that you will to benefit yourself somehow. You make your way out of your respiteblock, and you head outside.

The moon's rays feel cool on your skin, and seems to make you glow a little bit... Like a rainbow drinker. Not that you want to be a rainbow drinker, but you've read fanfiction upon fanfiction about them. But if you were suddenly to become one, you wouldn't complain. You walk to Karkat's hive, for some reason you yourself are unaware of. It has a big hole blown in the side of it, and the first thing you think is, Sollux. The yellow blood had been a master hacker/programmer/coder, but that was before he half-died. Or fully died? He went blind, you know that. The entire deal with his half-deadness confuses you. Rumour has it that he had two dream selves. Point is, is that he was trapped in the game. You take a deep breath, and knock on his door.

The door opens to reveal a bright red sweater. Kankri.

"Oh, hello, <Y/N>," he greets politely. He's completely unaware of your distaste towards his entire family. "I assume you've come to wish Karkat a happy wriggling day?"

"Uh, yeah," you say uncertainly. "Sure. That." More like wish him a wriggling day of misfortune, you think.

"Well, come inside, if you've made the effort of walking here," he tells you, opening the door wider. You realize that you've never been inside the Vantas hive before. He closes the door behind you. "I'll get Karkat. Make yourself at home." He leaves you alone, and you feel a presence. The only thing you have enough time to do is think, Shit.

"Who's this young lady in my living room?" the Signless sings. "You look to be around Karkat's age, is that true?"

"Yeah, I'm seven sweeps then some," you answer. He, too, is completely oblivious to your hate.

"Oh, are you that <Y/N> that Karkat always talks about?" he asks.

"Yeah," you repeat. "I guess." Whoa, he talks about you? That's not what you expected.

"He's so black for you," he tells you. You stare at him, and he grins. "Yeah, he's in denial, but he's black for you." You can say the same; your hate for him is so passionate, you couldn't be anything BUT black for him.

"Alright, here's Karkat," Kankri says, the easily angered younger troll next to him. "Karkat, try not to say anything too triggering, as I realize it's in your nature to accidentally spout out swear words-"

"Kankri, we got a new jar of peanut butter, if you want to make our guest peanut butter cookies or something," Signless rushes. "Or if you just want to eat it from the jar."

"Signless!" he snaps, and opens his mouth to continue, but is unable to. You almost laugh. It's always amazingly funny when someone says something that Kankri can't reply to. "I..." He makes his way over to the kitchen, and you hear the frustrated opening and closing of cupboards.

"Now then, I'll leave you two be," Signless tells you and Karkat.

"I guess we're going to my temporary room, until I can get mine fixed," Karkat says, as he grabs your wrist kind of harshly, and drags you up the stairs. Once you get to his 'temporary' room (which is obviously just Kankri's with another bed in it), he shuts the door and locks it. "Why the fuck are you here?"

"EB told me it's your wriggling day," you answer smoothly.

"EB?" Karkat asks, looking confused for a second. After a moment, he continues. "You mean, ectoBiologist?"

"Yeah," you answer. "He likes talking about you."

"O-Oh, does he?" Karkat avoids eye contact with you. "Well, whatever! His name is John, by the way."

"Whatever," you respond, trying to stay as arrogant as possible around him. "I guess... I just wanted to tell you happy wriggling day..."

"Seriously?" he asks, raising an eyebrow. You also notice his eyes have a tone of hurt. "Here I thought you hated me."

"I do," you tell him. "I just wanted an excuse for coming here."

"Oh," he tells you. "Whatever. If you really want me to have a happy fucking wriggling day, get me a kismesis."

"Yeah right," you retort. "No one hates you as much as I do."

"No one hates you as much as I do."

You both remain silent, your black feelings churning inside. You look at him, and his pupils seem to have literally turned into the kismesistude spades. You wonder how he did that.

"Fuck you, I'm black for you," he mutters, a bit of a blush rising to his face.

"Fuck you, I'm black for you," you shoot back.

"Kismesis?" he proposes, to which you lunge at him, and pin him down.

"Kismesis," you respond, smashing your lips on his, and having pretty much the best hate-kiss you two had ever experienced.

But then again, this was both of your very first hate kiss, so you both assumed it was good.